English...English...English

As an Indonesian, I realize completely that English is a foreign language. But why do I often write something in English here? Am I not proud of being an Indonesian? Or just to show to others that I have a really well English ability? No. I'm still learning. It's because one of my lecturer, who advised me to improve my English. He's been studying abroad (in Malaysia for the Doctoral Degree) for more than one year now.

When I met him last year, it was when returned to Indonesia for celebrating Idul Fitri (and I had promised to send him my Final Task report), he said to me that most Indonesian students had abilities which could compete with the students from other countries. The problem was, most of the Indonesian had a lack of English ability. That made them hard enough to compete with the students from China, India, and even Iran (who had better English ability). So he told me to improve my English (and also to take care of my health, knowing I ever suffered Bell's Palsy about two years ago) That's the main reason now I often write something in English

Talking about English, I never had an English course formally (means I had no certificates of English course at all). I learn it by myself. I learn it by reading articles, magazines, books (I even bought some English novels just like The Three Musketeers, Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Man In The Iron Mask, and I also have an English version of Harry Potter and The Order of The Phoenix - sorry I'm a die-hard fan of Harry Potter) and of course listening to the musics. Ever since I was in the elementary school, my father have always asked me to listen to English song (and I didn't mind at all cause I loved it). He also asked the same things to my older brother and sister (currently my father also asked my youngest stepsister). He always believes, English will make his children better than him (because my father is never able to speak English himself, he was formerly a Math teacher). English would then become my favorite subjects in High Schools.

Well, talking about writing in English, I always write words/poets (I often call them lyrics cause I often write in a songwriting style) in English. I never even wrote (and maybe I will never write) it in Indonesian. I began to learn how to write it when I was in Senior High Schools - but none of them was ever finished :-) - just to write something for a girl I had a crush on. Cause I couldn't stand seeing her. It always made me nervous whenever she was near, and I always tried to stay away from her (I believe I wasn't the only one ever having a feeling like this). And then I thought, the words I wrote would say what I wanted to.

When I entered the college, many more inspirations came. The words I wrote then talked about anything, about my crush, about my sister, friendships, and about my mother (I always love to write something about my late mother, cause I really love and I always miss her so much).. Remember, I always wrote the words in such a rhyme, cause that was what I ever learned from the songs I listened to. But most of the archives (including the one I wrote for my mother) are now missing. I don't remember where I've kept them (I haven't had any computers yet at the time so I wasn't able to type them and just wrote them in papers).

Only a few of them I can find which now I upload them and all the new materials in my other blog. You know why? I have to make a confession now. I think I've began to have another crush on a girl. I realize I've fallen in love with her ever since the first day I met her, the day we talked each other. But I have always lied to myself instead, that I've got no feelings for her at all. And that really makes me hurt cause truly, something 'bout her always makes me wanna get closer to her and even keep an eye on her (my ex-girlfriend sometimes had a suspicious mind about it and it made us often had a fight). Lately, the feeling is getting stronger and stronger. But I think the problem is finally solved now. I've been trying to be more honest to myself.

Back to English topics, even though there'd been a plan of posting something in Javanese, in a few minutes I'm gonna post a software tutorial. And this time it's gonna be different cause I wrote in English completely. But there's something forgotten, since a few weeks ago, if I had to write in English, I decided to write in US English only.